we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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