if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
