moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
