I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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