I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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