wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
