I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
