if i can run in heels then i can drive
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
