Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Alive.
So much puke
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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