I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
