So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
