Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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