if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize