i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
