Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
