Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Operation Purity has been aborted
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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