Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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