You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
