I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
