just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
