I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
