it wasn't lemon gatorade
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
