when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
