My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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