he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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