I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
