I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
