All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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