apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
