P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize