I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
