I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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