As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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