My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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