Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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