But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
