when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
