i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
