i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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