Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
