Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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