Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
