Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
birth control should be required to get into college
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
