He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
