Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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