I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
