i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
