if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Couch. On fire.
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