Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
