how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
