What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
