Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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