I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize