he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
