The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
