your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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