so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
