dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dear god my vagina.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
