You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
