i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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