Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize