i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
