Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
