Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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