im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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