I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
