Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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